De-stigmatising manipulation: An exercise in second-order empathic understanding

Abstract

Standard definitions of ‘manipulation’, especially regarding people with a borderline personality diagnosis, usually highlight the alloplastic purpose of manipulativity, i.e. the intention to produce a belief in, or action by another person. In this article, I will try to show that this is only one side of the coin, and shed light on a complementary aspect of manipulative behaviour: manipulation can serve an epistemic, rather than alloplastic, pragmatic motif – the attempt to establish contact with the other in order to achieve a more distinct experience and representation of the other. My tentative hypothesis is based on the meaning of manipulation as touching (‘manus’ means ‘hand’) in infant behaviour where manipulation is a means to explore, rather than a way to modify the other’s state of mind.